My Dad

Wow its been awhile since my last post. Alot has happened in the last couple of years, I'm not sure where to begin. I guess I'll start with a big ticket item. In July of last year my Dad lost his 8 year battle with cancer. Its hard to explain how I feel about it, I guess you need some history. My dad and mom divorced when I was 7 years old and he moved across the state when I was 10, so needless to say I didn't see him much growing up. I never felt like a priority to him but I knew he loved me. Dad married 5 more times after he and mom divorced so I had a wide aray of stepmothers, but his last wife was by far the best for him and us. Deb has no kids of her own and she loves us and treats us as if we belong to her. When dad called me to tell me the news that he had cancer it hit like a lead balloon, I received the call on the very day we buried my Grandpa (who I lived with 2 years when I was a teenager), so it was a difficult day already. Pancreatic Cancer was the diagnosis, he said it was a very aggressive fast growing cancer, but there was some hope. He went on to explain that there was a procedure the doctor wanted to try and thought he was a good canadite for, and lets face it without it he only had a matter of months. Dad was raised in church and he knew what was right from wrong, but he chose to ignore God and live a sinful life for many, many years. Dad had a problem with drinking and I guess you can figure out with 6 marriages, he was quite the womanizer. I was really worried about him losing his life, but I was even more concerned with his soul. I went to church on that following Sunday and stood at the alter and prayed to God telling him I could bare to lose my dad but I couldnt bare to lose him to Hell. I begged and pleeded with him for more time. My sister and I went to the hospital on the day of surgery and saw our dad as they took him back for what we did not realize was a very difficult surgery. As dad told us of the surgery he left out the details of the surgery to protect us as he often did. The procedure he had was the Whipple procedure (not sure I spelled that correctly), when the doctor came to speak with us after the surgery he went over the staticts...I don't remember the numbers like I should, but it was something like only 5% of people with pancreatic cancer are even considered a canadate for this procedure, only 10% of people survive the surgery, and only 10% live 5 years after the surgery. WOW...Well after a long round with chemo and a huge struggle to battle back after such an evasive surgery my dad went 5 years cancer free. Then the dreaded phone call came, the cancer was back and in his lung. Here we go again. Praying, praying, and more praying is what I did. I got a phone call one day from Debbie saying she went to a little church by there house and she got saved, Praise the Lord, but at this point dad still wasnt going. I guess dad could see the change in her life and maybe fear was beginning to set in, she convinced him to go to a revival at her church and that night my dad gave his heart back to Jesus. The change in my dad was amazing. It was so weird, but sooo wonderful to go to dads house and sit down to dinner and hear my dad say Grace...I never thought I would hear that. Not saying I don't have faith that God can turn someone around, I know He can, but He gave me more than I had asked for. I was overwhelmed listening to my dad pray such a simple but sincere prayer over food, but I could tell by his comfort in doing so he had that relationship with Christ. On July 22nd my sister and I went to see my dad after getting a phone call from Debbie saying things are not looking good. When we got there he perked up and tried to talk with us, but it was very hard on him. That was the last time my dad spoke to me. We came home crying most of the 3 hour drive. We came home to get things in order so we could be gone a couple of days. We got a phone call on the 23rd around 6:30pm to come back now, we packed a bag and got there around midnight, we spent the night sitting up with my dad, and at around 10am Sunday morning He went home to be with Jesus. Debbie has been wonderful and she took good care of my dad as he battled this horrific disease, and for that I thank her. My sister and I are making that trip on Friday for the first time since dad died, I know it will be hard, but we need to do it. I miss my dad very much and I wish we could have spent more time together and I wish we could do some things over and not take time for granted. But I know one thing for sure...he is in Heaven dancing with Jesus, playing beautiful music on his guitar, and he is not in pain anymore.

One Of Those Days

Have you ever had one of those days? Wednesday started off as any other Wednesday. I got up went to work, hurried to pick Lesley up from school, rushed home for about an hour, so she could change her clothes for volleyball practice. Luke has fitness club after school on Tuesdays and Wednesdays so he was still at school. He had to be picked up at 4:30 and Lesley's practice started at 5pm so we just stayed at the school. Luke ended up calling his dad to come and pick him up so he would not be late for youth since it starts at 6pm. Practice was over at 5:45 due to it being a church night, so we are getting in the car and I get a phone call from my Aunt Janet telling me that Austin (my second cousin..but more like a nephew) had just broke his arm at a basketball game in Sullivan. So I get off the phone and I'm telling Lesley what had happened and we are discussing whether we should go to the hospital or just go to church. I look in my mirror and I see flashing lights...Oh great I tell her this cop it trying to get past me. So I pull over and guess what so does he. He comes up to my car and I asked "What did I do wrong?" I think he could tell I was visibly upset and he said you were going 48 in a 30 zone. I explained to him that I was on my way to the hospital so he let me go with a warning. Thank Goodness!!! So anyway we go to the hospital so we can pick up Kyle (Austin little brother)so Tona and Rodney will have one less thing to worry about and can focus on Austin. They had decided to take Austin in to Children's Hospital in St. Louis due to the nature of his break. So I am leaving the hospital with Lesley and Kyle and I'm heading to church...even more upset knowing that the break is bad enough to send them to another hospital. As I'm backing out of the parking space...I feel a thud...I had just hit another car in the parking lot. I get out to take a look, and I had just hit Tona's car. As if they didn't have enough to worry about..luckily there was no damage to their car but my car has a huge hole in the bumper now. I had hit a trailer hitch on the back of her car. At least no one was hurt..but I was sure glad when the day was over.

End of the School Year

The craziness has begun...a MAP reward to the bowling alley followed by a picnic at the park..in the rain...with 3rd graders. Then a field trip to the City Museum with the sixth grade and Luke who of course didn't want me to go..but his friends wanted to be in my group, so he allowed me to go with him. Then there was a planned trip to the zoo with Lesley and thank goodness it was cancelled due to thunderstorms and tornado warnings. So guess what...they rescheduled it, and now I have to take a day off work to go. Would it be bad to pray for rain again??? Then the very next day both kids have field day..I have never missed a field day til now...I hate that. Usually I am finished with work and don't have to worry about missing work. But for some reason my work schedule changed this year and I have to miss it...I mean I can't ask off 2 days in a row on my last week of school..It wouldn't be fair to my students. Speaking of my students..we had our Spring Program/Graduation and what a great job they did. It is amazing how much knowledge those little brains can absorb. I have finished my report cards and sent them home and now we just get to have fun. We had field day with another class last week and boy was that fun. The other teacher and I thought we were going to die laughing..we played a game where the kids had to run with a ball between their knees...try that with a 4 or 5 year old and see if you don't laugh. I'm gonna miss them so much. I know your not suppose to have favorites..but it's hard not to. One little guy I have had for 2 years, because I moved up to the next age this year. He is going to be a hard one to say good bye to...when I see him at Wal-Mart now he won't talk to me, he just hides behind his mom or dad. I told him the other day,"Charlie..You are going to have to say hi to me in Wal-Mart when I see you." He said,"No I don't"..I told him I was really going to miss his and I really needed him to say hi when I see him. His mom told me the other night at the program that Charlie said he would say hi but he wasn't going to give me a hug...I told her that's OK I can live with that. I just hate good-byes..last year at least I knew most would be back for at least one more year...but this year only 2 of mine are coming back, they probably will not be in my class, but at least I will get to see them at recess. Then in September it starts all over again. A new class, new personalities, new adventures....and more good-byes.

Overlapping Sports

I knew it was going to happen it always does at least once a year. Lesley has a volleyball tournament in a small town about an hour and fifteen minutes away. This town is out in the middle of nowhere, on a small dark crooked road, and no cell phone reception. My husband really don't want Lesley and I to travel that road alone in the dark, and neither do I. I worry that if we had a flat tire, there really is no place to pull off to change a tire and then you have no way to call for help. Her volleyball games have been lasting until after 10pm so needless to say it would be late when we leave for home. Then of course Luke's baseball game got changed to the same night due to the fact they are calling for rain on the original day. This is his first ball game of the season. I really hate to miss any of his games but especially his first one. Thank goodness Luke's coach offered to take him to the game so Lesley and I don't have to travel alone, but it still don't help me feel less guilty about missing a game. Then in 2 weeks we will have a similar situation, with Lesley in one town, Luke in another, and a wedding shower in another and a 50th wedding anniversary in another. I feel guilty about blowing family off to go to ball games but then again the kids have committed to these teams and they depend on them being there. At least on this particular weekend Robert can go with Luke and I can go with Lesley and I don't feel as bad about that. The kids say that they understand we can't both be in both places. I just hope the other family members will be just as understanding as our children. I guess I will make an apologising phone call to each of the family members and send a gift and hope they will be forgiving. That is the best I can do.

When did he grow up?

Just yesterday or what seemed to be yesterday Luke wanted me there. You know, he wanted me to be the room mother, he wanted me to wave to him at school, and he wanted me to eat lunch with him. Well at some point, I became embarrassing. I volunteered at school last week and Lesley was very excited for me to come and eat lunch with her and her friends on Thursday. I had to ask Luke (just for kicks) if he wanted me to eat with him on Friday. Oh my goodness, his reply was Mom please don't that would be embarrassing. I had to laugh and I was very tempted to just do a walk thru the lunch room just to see his reaction when he thought I was coming to sit with him. But I refrained. It is funny how when we are at a ball game all his friends come and gather around me and want to sit by me, and he wants to move away. I guess he is just growing up. While I was at the school on Friday, I heard some kids talking about Luke and his girl friend and how they have been dating a long time ( I think it is 6 weeks). I was like, WHAT dating? He is not old enough to DATE, they have not gone out any where. Ok they did meet at the "big dance" and at a ball game or two but that is not DATING. The librarian heard the kids talking as well and she looked at me and smiled and told the kids including Luke's girlfriend that I was there working the book fair(just on the other side of the wall). One of the girls looked over the wall and saw me and said to Luke's girlfriend "Kindra his mom is really here working the book fair". Poor Kindra, she was so embarrassed. I walked over and waved at her and she just smile her pretty little smile and waved back red face and all. I don't doubt he loves me because he tell me and often he still climbs up on my lap and want some mommy lovin'. I guess he is just at the age where he don't want his friends making fun on him for liking his mom, and as long as he shows it at home I'm ok with that. I guess he just needs a little room to grow up and I have to trust the job I did the first 12 years, and pray hard.

Look out Florida here we come!

Every year the Assembly of God churches come together and have a talent competition for the youth called Fine Arts. I have heard a lot about it and was very excited when my son signed up to do a Human Video with 3 other kids from his youth group. They decided to do one from a drama they had done earlier in the year to the Jeremy Camp song "Take My Life". The drama itself is about the unseen battle that goes on between good and evil for ones soul. The video is about a boy that is struggling between his relationship with God and peer pressure to drink and do drugs. The pressure gets so strong for him that he is tempted to take his own life. It really is a powerful message and when we did the entire drama at our church we had several teens come forward. Luke plays the angel in this video and I must say he does a very good job especially since he is only 12. He really looks up to some of the kids in the youth group that are older than him and he don't want to disappoint them. I was beginning to think the pressure was about to get to him on Saturday..Like Pastor Derrick said, "I didn't know he was going to get sick or pass out". When the time came and they were on that stage..they nailed it! They really did do a great job and they got invited to Orlando for the National competition in August. I'm so proud of all of our youth..we get to take 8 of them to Florida. They really are a talented group of kids. The best thing about Fine Arts is that it helps the kids to get comfortable on stage and develope a ministry of their own. These are the future leaders of our church, and I for one want to support them and their ministries.

Who is the Teacher?

It takes a four year old to keep things in perspective. I was teaching my class about Jonah and the big fish yesterday, and we were talking about how Jonah was running from God and what God wanted him to do. One of my students looked up at me and said, "Mrs. Shelly, why do people run from God? He only loves us and wants to help us." I replied, I don't know why people would run from God. Then he asked me, "Have you ever ran from God?" I thought for a moment and I said, "Yes, I think I have". He then said, "God always knows where we are, don't he Mrs. Shelly?" I said, "yes Charlie, God does know where we are, he knew where to find Jonah when he ran and he knew where to find me when I ran and he will know where to find you if you run." At times we get scared and we feel like God is giving us to much, but he really does love us and wants to help us. All we have to do is humble ourselves and ask for His help. I think yesterday I was the student and Charlie was the teacher. Have I mentioned that I love my job!